Assessment Reflections: Impossible things

"Sometimes I believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast...  Six impossible things.  Count them, Alice.  One, there's a potion that can make you shrink.  Two, and a cake that can make you grow.  Three, animals can talk.  Four, cats can disappear.  Five, there's a place called Wonderland.  Six, I can slay the Jabberwocky."     ~Alice in Wonderland, 2010

The big night for our fresh meat skaters finally arrived last night!  The rink was full of nervous concentration as we performed techniques we know by heart, as well as some that might still stump us.  It took over two hours, and the hardest part for me was wondering how I was doing that whole time.  Seven of us tested and we didn't get the results until after practice.  It was a long ride home.  While I knew I had performed well in most areas, I wasn't sure I'd done every single thing well enough.  Finally I found out that I did pass, along with three of my teammates.  I am still re-reading the announcement to be sure it's true.

I've been at this eight months.  Eight.  Almost as long as it takes to have a baby, and for me, having a baby was probably easier.  (Not raising a baby; just having one.)  The journey so far has been fun but emotional, scary at times, and I've discovered a side of myself that I didn't know was there.  Now that I have reached this first summit, I'm ready to push harder.  I need to improve my long-known weak points of hitting, blocking, and understanding strategy.  I'm skating in our fresh meat invitational on March 30th, and from there I'll be preparing for my first real bout.  Onward and upward.

When I look back at where I started, I know more than ever that I needed derby.  We all need to believe impossible things about ourselves.  I never thought of myself as an athlete, and I wasn't "born with skates on" like several of the girls on our team, either.  I have always struggled with sports.  Dodgeball, softball, basketball, volleyball--you name it, I couldn't play it.  I was so terrified of high school gym class that I signed up for Junior ROTC just to escape it.  The feeling that I was confused and clumsy at sports sank deep into my bones and after high school, opportunities to disprove that feeling seemed to vanish.  

And then, finally, I found roller derby.  I was at best a mediocre, very occasional rink skater.  Me, weave through that pace line?  No way.  Hip checks?  Are you kidding?  That's a death-defying stunt.  Skate close together in a pack?  Do a 180 and pop up on my toe stops?  Skate 25 laps in five minutes when I've never moved that fast outside of a motor vehicle?  Let someone sling me, push me, hit me while zooming around with eight wheels strapped to my feet?  Impossible.  Never going to happen.

But somehow it did.  And if I have all of that in me, what else is in there that I don't know about?  There's this race called The Bear that I someday want to run.  You begin at the bottom of a mountain and finish at the top.  It's five miles completely uphill.  At first it was a far-off, far-fetched item on my bucket list.  So far, I've never run anything even close to that.  I wondered if I might do my best and still get picked up by the van that comes for stragglers.  Now I look at it and think, pshaw, if I train for it I know I can kick that race's butt.  And someday I will.

We are blind to so much of our own potential.  I'll be forever thankful that derby helped me uncover some of mine.  With all the skulls and crossbones, racy nicknames, and tiny shorts, it took me a while to recognize roller derby for the Godbreeze it is.  I think of all the wonderful women who have helped and encouraged me, and the new ladies fighting their way through and discovering new sides of themselves.  I see my daughters watching me do what I dream of and absorbing it into their hearts and I know I was meant to be part of this.  Without a shred of irony, thank God for roller derby.

P.S.  A photo from last weekend of all-star Columbia Quad Squad jammer Mel Anoma.  The grinning, excited little girl?  Her newest fan, R.L. Bustya, future jammer.  She is also my five-year-old daughter, Suzi.  Maybe she'll change her mind and take on a challenge other than skating, and that'll be fine with me.  Whatever she does, I want her to always know there's no end to her potential.  She is amazing and capable and she can reach out and claim her dreams, with force if necessary.  That's roller derby.

Don't blink

The Doctor Who sticker I ordered for my helmet, designed by the-other-mike on Redbubble

My helmet is still naked!  I have one sticker already, sent to me by a Facebook friend, that I still need to put on there.  Other than that, I just hadn't found anything that resonated with me, and I haven't yet been in a bout to collect the sticker of another team.  There are many cute and funny derby girl stickers, but everyone has those and I wanted something sort of unique.  Today I found some "don't blink" stickers online.  It's a reference to one of my favorite Doctor Who episodes.  I ordered several different designs to choose from.  Can't wait to get them!

At Monday's practice, I finally skated my 25 in 5:00 again!  4:55 to be exact.  It was a happy, happy night for me.  I'm also learning to skate backwards, after all these months.  The other fresh meat girls and I are getting close to our first official assessments, so I'm doing my best to make every practice count!

Assessments: How close am I?

URGE was in the Easley Christmas parade December 1st!  We brought our kids and many of us skated.  It was so much fun!

Well, it's been a while, but don't worry.  I'm still skating!  Over the past few weeks I have gotten a lot more comfortable and excited to be at derby, like I was in late summer, and have gotten a lot more comfortable with certain hang-ups of mine such as hitting.

First of all, I have been meaning to announce for anyone who is wondering that the Triple Eight Bumsaver WORKS.  I would recommend it to anyone who is somewhat new and doesn't want to risk a tailbone setback like the one I had.  I was withholding my opinion until I truly fell on it, but now I've fallen on the tailbone pads a couple of times and everything was fine!  It is a bit annoying to put that extra layer on, but I'm going to keep wearing it until I'm better at falling forward.

Last night at practice I got to go through the assessments list with two amazing veteran skaters, Raven Maniac and Full Metal Arsonist.  I think I am closer than I thought to passing!  Here are the WFTDA minimum skills requirements.  I can do all the basics, although there are a couple of things I need to work on, and we got through some of section four, skating with others before we ran out of time.  I can do all the whips now without falling over, and no longer panic when pushed.  Excited to finally pass assessments soon!

It was fun working with Raven and Arson.  Raven is our new team captain, by the way!  She is fabulous and has always encouraged me to go just a little bit further than I thought I could.  Being on a team with ladies like these is one of my favorite things about derby.

At the end of practice last night I tried for my 25 in 5.  Last time I was over by about 15 seconds, skating with several other fresh meat skaters, so this time I skated with Arson leading to set the pace.  5:02.  Sigh.  I had it in exactly 5:00 over the summer and I know I can get it again!  I was told I needed to pick it up a little, and I did try, but after a practice like the one we'd had, my left thigh was burning after about lap 10.  Looks like I need to get back to running and do some squats while watching TV to help with my derby position.  Next time!